In general, May December romances is a phrase that is associated to a situation where the man is significantly older than the woman partner. It is important to understand though that contrary to tradition, gender rules no longer apply when the term is used. This means that it has become a general term to describe any type of romance where one of the lovers is significantly advanced in age.
With gay and lesbian relationships becoming more acceptable, the term can also be applied to such relationships where significant age difference occurs. It should be clarified though that such relationships exist in a more romantic nature rather than physical or sexual. There is likewise no specific age gap that serves as a qualification for relationships to be considered as May December romances. This means that even five year difference in age can also be classified under this type of relationship.
However, normally, the underlying qualification is that the relationship tends to raise some eyebrows and sharp comments from society. Since the reactions may vary depending on the prevailing culture, the following questions gain relevant importance.
- What makes this type of relationship different from other relationships?
The reality is that May December couples are much like any other type of couples, regardless whether they are same sex or not. These types of romances undergo similar challenges are also elevated by the same persuasions and motivations. This means any disagreements have the potentials of causing an argument between the partners. When viewed from this consideration, there is not much difference if the age gap is 30 days or 30 years.
With so much unpredictability in life, one cannot even discount the possibility of the younger partner passing away before the older one due to illness, or even natural causes. As with any type of romances and relationships, even sexual and emotional incompatibilities can exist, and does not necessarily have anything to do with age. The only difference between May December romances and other types of romances is just perception.
Society perceives it as unacceptable and unconventional, and is an open challenge to the usual norms. Other than this, it remains just like any other type of romance, with the same level of unpredictability whether it would be for the long-term or not.
- What are the basic advantages and disadvantages?
Regardless if you have experienced this type of relationship or not you need to be aware of the basic advantages and disadvantages. It is important to remind people that this type of relationship should be approached with caution because it tends to draw in family and friends more than other types of romances. Generally, the basic advantages of this type of relationship are focused on stability, learning, and even lust.
Unbelievable as it may seem, but lust tends to be the initial force that drives these types of romances. Eventually, the lust gradually integrates to other more important aspects and components of relationships resulting in a stronger bond between partners. These contribute to the stability of the relationship because the older partner becomes more forgiving, patient, and understanding, unlike when involved with a partner of the same age.
The learning environment created by the difference in age helps both parties to grow and learn between the differences of their generation. The opportunity to educate partners can result in a more inspirational relationship. However, one of the most common disadvantages in this type of romances is the imbalance of power.
Partners should be aware of the possibility of the stability transforming into patronizing attitude and eventual resentment. Other potential disadvantages are in the areas of parenthood and career.
- What is the basis for the intrigue in these types of romances?
There are several potential reasons for the intrigue that commonly surround May December romances. One of the most likely to be on top of the list is the interest generated by movies in these types of relationships. Society in general is intrigued whether real life can make such romances succeed without the movie cameras rolling. Another reason is that romances with such huge age differences is commonly seen as taboo and still remains unacceptable for conservatives.
Whether people admit to it or not, society finds thing that go against the norms as intriguing and draw in more attention than necessary. Lastly, and what many may consider as the most important reason for all the intrigues is that these types of relationships tend to be a gauge for comparison of our own relationships at the time.
There is no question that many people tend to seek validation and approval from other people, and for those in these types of romances to openly claim that they have normal and healthy relationships without needing confirmation from others, can be very intriguing.
- Do these romances ever succeed?
For those presently in this type of romance or contemplating to be in one, this may prove to be the most important question of all. We have to admit that any type of relationship is an investment in emotion. With people tending to be emotional, rather than rational, creatures, they want to make sure that there is a potential for the relationship to succeed before ever venturing to this perceived to be taboo romance.
To evaluate the potentials for success of May December romances, it is important to look at the common problems encountered by couples of all ages, gender preference, and economic status. In general, the core issues that couples contend with touch on sex, communication, finances, health, and family.
If you noticed, none of the core issues has anything to do with age difference or even the preference for older or younger partner. This means that these romances have a very high potential for success based on the commitment of the partners.
With all of these important questions resolved, it is easy to conclude that May December romances can be considered as normal and healthy as any other type of relationship today.
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